first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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