I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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