You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
