You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
