Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Do vagina's smell?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize