too bad you live with your parents still
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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