Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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