can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
