it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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