Are we in a gay sports bar?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize