Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
