So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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