Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you win again, gameday.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
