I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
