I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
