I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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