i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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