it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize