I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
