dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
