i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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