Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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