pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
