ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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