I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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