I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
