she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
