My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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