I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i think i have two assholes
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
