yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
