i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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