Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
