Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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