I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
