I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
