Only a mothe r could love this liver
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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