So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize