needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
