North Korea, Best Korea!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
