is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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