His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
