My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i need some magic done to my vagina
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
