Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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