So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
