i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
