Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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