69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize