When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize