Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
