kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
false alarm, still single
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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