My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
