U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
