The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
