I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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