hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
