i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
