He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize