what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
