I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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