The maid of honor just puked.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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