i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
