he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
