So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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